Julian Kappel

Well, this has definitely been one of the most interesting weeks I’ve had in a while.
Scratch that, this has been one of the most interesting months I’ve had in a while.
I have a car, finally, which is fantastic. This is the first vehicle I’ve owned since my first year in college. What happened to that car is a story for another time.
It’s a solid little car, but unfortunately I’ve been having some troubles with the battery. It actually reminds me of when my friend first moved to Missouri where I was already located. We had to get jumped just about everytime we wanted to go somewhere.
I also moved into my new apartment which is amazing. It’s reasonably priced and bigger than anything I would have expected to live in at this stage in my life.
I have two roommates, both great guys, and my cat is adjusting quite nicely to the move. I have pretty much everything moved in and thanks to the very generous Dr. King we have almost completely furnished the living room and dining room.
Thanks to my ex-girlfriend I’ve also completely filled the kitchen. Thanks for all the stuff that you didn’t want to move!
I also got the perfect room, peaked ceiling and white walls with plenty of storage space. Plus, i have a small office just outside so as soon as I get a new computer I’ll be able to focus on my personal writing in a comfy, quiet setting.
Unfortunately, not all is grand in the life of this very busy reporter. I was diagnosed with a not-so-fun illness and have therefore been forced to take medication that has made me feel like crap for weeks. It’s funny when the thing that’s keeping you alive is also making you feel awful.
All in all I can’t really complain. I’m pretty well established here in Norwich now so I don’t expect I’ll be going anywhere soon!
… follow me on Twitter @evesunjulian

Brian Golden

Ah, yes, Wednesday, otherwise recognized as Column Day by this intrepid news reporter. This week, you ask? This week I decided to put together a quick opinion piece on Eric Clapton’s 2007 autobiography, “Clapton,” the man himself and my neverending love affair with music, particularly the blues (not to mention the guitar). Clapton has always been (and continues to be) a huge inspiration to me, in every way, and today’s column was one I’ve had in the back of my head for months. My heartfelt thanks for your wonderful music and such an honest telling of your life story, Mr. Clapton, it’s appreciated.

In other musician news, (ignorant loudmouth) guitarist Ted Nugent certainly made a splash with his remarks at a recent NRA function, when he said – and I quote – “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year … we need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November.”

Well, Ted, I’ll be honest. I’ve never really held you in the highest regard when it comes to your music – or your guitar playing – and I’m absolutely appalled by your statements. You, sir, represent the problem in this already divided nation, along with your gun-toting, hateful brethren, and – to be quite honest – I could care less what you think. Enjoy your first amendment rights, by all means, but do us all a favor and think before you open your mouth.

Enough said.

And now, my Most Ridiculous ‘30 Seconds’ Post of the Day, hand-picked from The Evening Sun’s online edition of everyone’s favorite reader reaction hotline.
“Tea party has been on the forefront of fighting things like eminent domain, drone surveillance, etc. Don’t listen to the liberal media. This is a grassroots movement. We are not led around or funded by some rich people. You are confusing us with the liberals who are funded and led by rich Hollywood types and George Soros.”

Oh … my … goodness. Man from Guilford, please stop. My sides hurt I’m laughing so hard.

Add to that this absolutely ridiculous headline, brought to you by CNN.com … ‘Poll: Most say tax system favors wealthy’
Gee, you think? It’s a system that’s been re-worked and manipulated by … you guessed … the wealthy, for decades. Do you really think they’re going to go out of their way to be fair? Of course they’re not, they’re in it for the money. And don’t try to convince me I’m wrong, I’m not listening.

I hate Tax Day.

Jeff Genung

• Not all that bad for a Friday the 13th, ehh? Just found out this morning I’m getting a hefty tax refund (nothing like working under pressure of a deadline), so it can’t be all that bad. Take that, black cat!

• Congratulations to Tom Stoddard, Tornado alum who’s the fourth in our seven-part series profiling the latest inductees to the Norwich Sports Hall of Fame. A side note, last week’s story on Kelly James Huhtala (special shout-out to a former ES colleague!) was one of our most “liked,” shared and commented-upon Facebook entries ever.

• Sure seems as though the towns of New Berlin and Columbus are gung-ho on supporting this new ambulance initiative, despite what appeared to be an overwhelming sentiment against it. Is this a case of a government out of touch with its constituents, or one that knows what’s in the best interests of its people better than … its people? Time will tell, I suppose, but the fix is certainly in.

• Norwich Tea Party Patriots will celebrate the three-year anniversary of the founding of their group with a rally in downtown Norwich Saturday. I suppose I was going to make the requisite Tea Party joke here, but really I have to admire a group of individuals who stand up for their principles loudly and publically, even if I don’t agree with them.

• I know you’re all dying to know what The Evening Sun staff’s most-anticipated summer movies are, but you’ll have to wait until next Friday for our next Toddster Teamup with one of our favorite correspondents, DVD Patrol’s Todd Campbell. Suffice it to say there are a lot of superheroes, vampires and aliens. If my lack of a Tea Party joke disappointed you, I’ll let you work with that.

I hate grocery shopping. On a long list of things I would rather not do, I would rank grocery shopping someplace above root canal and just below asbestos removal.

Really, what is there to like about grocery shopping? Aside from the skyrocketing price of groceries in the last year (which has made it more expensive to buy a loaf of bread and a box of Cheerios than to buy a human kidney on the black market), there are other little annoyances to deal with.

My complaining usually begins as soon as my car’s front tires cross the entrance of the parking lot. Just the drawn out search for a parking spot is enough to make the sweetest elderly woman cuss like a trucker. When I think I’ve found an empty spot, it turns out to be filled by a small car that’s pulled up too far and wasn’t seen behind the tank-sized SUV that’s parked back too far; or the space is taken by an empty shopping cart generously left behind by someone who didn’t walk the extra 20 feet to the nearest cart return.

If I were to label myself with a superhuman ability, it’s the inexplicable skill to pick out the worst shopping cart possible – the one with broken welds, a front wheel that only turns to the left, or a sticky handle; or it’s tangled by the child safety strap of the cart behind it, thereby making it impossible to take one cart without taking the next two with it and sucking me into a man vs. shopping cart battle, which naturally draws stares of curiosity mixed with pity from everyone around me.

Then there’s actual people to deal with – other shoppers who also don’t want to be grocery shopping. I really believe that I’m a people person, soft-spoken but sociable. In crowded places on the other hand… well, it’s one thing to deal with a few people at a time, but dealing with hundreds at a time is a different animal entirely.

I’m the type of shopper who likes to get what I need and get out as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, that can’t happen when entire groups of people walk side-by-side at half the speed of peanut butter down the middle of the aisle. If some of them were to move any slower, I might tip over.

Of course, if it’s not slow moving traffic standing in my way, it’s the shopping cart of someone who’s pondering the seemingly life-changing decision of which salad dressing to try. It’s a bit of a stretch, but my thought is that if someone takes more than 60 seconds to pick out an item, they should pull their cart to the side of the aisle, set up road cones and emergency flares, and have someone divert traffic around them.

Just as I have an uncanny sense of picking out the worst cart, I can also pick the checkout line that stands still the longest (another God given talent that I wouldn’t have picked for myself). Even so, I stay in that line because I know that if I move, it’s going to take off like a rocket while my new line goes nowhere. So, I entertain myself by reading gossip headlines I don’t care about and rearrange produce into the shape of a face on the bottom of my sticky-handled cart (two oranges for eyes, a banana smiley face, and fresh lettuce hair), all while waiting for 19-item guy to pay for his things in the 15 items or less checkout lane.

Still, despite all my whining, I have to suck it up. Saturday is grocery shopping day – I guess it’s not reasonable to live off Campbell’s soup and Ritz crackers forever.

Brian Golden

I’ve never been what you’d call a big believer when it comes to all that Friday the 13th, voodoo-hoodoo, superstitious nonsense, although a black cat did cross my path first thing today while I was walking under a ladder, smashing a mirror on an old wife and spilling the salt. Other than that, I’m having a great day. What can I say? The sun is shining, another week in the Evening Sun office is coming to a close and – once again – there’s not a whole lot on the agenda for the weekend. Which means, of course, some good-old relaxation time … I hope.

Well, it seems the Trayvon Martin shooting case is one step closer to resolution, which is – in my opinion – a good thing. And while I’m uncertain exactly where I stand on this one, I must admit Florida’s shoot-first, ask questions later self defense legislation is, to put it mildly, absolutely ridiculous. People are far too unpredictable to be allowed such leniency and the violence that resulted in the Zimmerman-Martin incident is a perfect example of this. Regardless of how anyone feels, Zimmerman was told he did not have to follow Martin and did so anyway, so there has to be some sort of consequence for his actions. If he’d done as he was told, none of this would have happened.

And now, my Ridiculous ‘30 Seconds’ Post of the Week, brought to you by Man from Pharsalia …
“I’ll tell you what, I’m sick and tired of all you ‘30 Seconds’ people, all you do is complain all the time. I’m about ready to come down there to Norwich and do something about it, because it’s getting really, really ridiculous. Now stop all the nonsense already.”

While I agree with Man from Pharsalia up to a point, I must admit I liked our esteemed editor’s response, “Please tell us what you intend to do about it!” And yes, Man from Pharsalia, there’s plenty of ridiculous to go around (and then some) in regards to ‘30 Seconds,’ but I don’t think the nonsense is going to stop anytime soon. Why you’re coming to Norwich to “do something about it” is beyond me; crazy ‘30 Seconds’ contributors come from all parts of the county (and beyond), trust me.

Finally, to wrap things up for this week, my quote of the day, which was also included in this week’s column.
“We’re not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here,” Rip Torn, as Zed in the film “Men in Black.”

Don’t ask me why, but that one just cracks me up.

Brian Golden

Well, well … that was an interesting start to the day. Nothing like waking up, beginning the morning routine and … BAM … house fire in Greene. As always, I feel terrible for the home owner, as the house was a complete loss. Thanks go out, however, to our area firefighters and other emergency personnel for their bravery and dedication. And at least no one was hurt.

My thumbs down this week, for those of you yet to read today’s paper, went out to the absolutely twisted individuals who voted down an extremely positive online ‘30 Seconds’ post regarding the Norwich High School production of ‘Aida.’ Some people – to put it plain and simple – make me sick. These students work so hard, spending hours in rehearsal and building sets, and continue – year after year – to put on an amazing show. To vote down their efforts is not only ignorant, but downright mean-spirited. So, for those of you with no remorse (or manners, for that matter), just go away.

One more occasion where I’m forced to use language other than that I would like to, simply because I’d like to keep my job. Just so you know.

Speaking of complete and utter idiocy on ‘30 Seconds,’ here’s my Ridiculous Online Post of the Week!
“Has anyone in Norwich looked in the Police blotter? All the druggies are on welfare. Why are they getting aid from tax payers?” – Man from Norwich

Well, Man from Norwich, to answer your questions (and in response to your statement) … 1) Yes, people look at the Police Blotter every day. 2) Generalizations can be dangerous. Not all druggies are on welfare and not all welfare recipients are on drugs. 3) They get aid from the tax payers because that is the system that’s in place.

That being said, I did edit your post (question marks and spelling corrections) … I hope you don’t mind.

Okay, let’s see … what do we have in the news today? Romney and Santorum, of course. Ugh, yawn. The Masters at Augusta … Nah, I’ll watch the final round on Sunday. Coast Guard sinks “Ghost Ship.” Interesting, but I’ll pass. Man steals crane and destroys power lines … Yes! Now that’s my kind of story. People, seriously, if any of you are thinking about doing this kind of thing here in Chenango County, contact me first, because I’d love to get a picture … before you’re arrested, of course.

And with that, the weekend is almost here. Please refrain from committing any major crimes or causing any major accidents for the next two days, because I’d like to relax, if possible. Come Monday, let the chaos begin, that’s fine. Just keep it nice and mellow until then.

Thanks so much.

No one ever says “Bully.” I mean, people say it, just not in the context I’m talking about. What I mean is that no one uses the term “Bully” as an adjective to explain how extraordinarily great something is. Granted, it’s possibly because it’s not 1910 anymore, but it used to be a common expression, so why don’t we still use it?

I’ve always thought language and communication is an interesting topic. I wonder, why does slang and common pros change as culture changes? How much influence does culture have on language anyway? And why isn’t the average person in this country as well versed in reading, writing and spoken language as we once were?

I have a theory that over the years, we’ve become a little lazier in our written and spoken language, which of course, I’m plenty guilty of too. I might even go so far as to say that abbreviations and acronyms are more understood in writing and much more widely used than the complete spelling of words. Avid Facebookers might know what I’m talking about: LOL means laugh out loud; IDK, I don’t know; BTW, by the way; YNTTMWTMBISACDK; you need to tell me what this means because I sure as crap don’t know (which is one I made up for myself. It seems pretty obvious to me). Sure, it’s fun to use this stuff in social media, but when high school students write these acronyms in formal essays (which is happening more than anyone would like to admit), it becomes sort of problematic, doesn’t it?

We’ve become so lazy in oral communication that we don’t even finish a full sentence – even the most simple, single-word sentences. If you’re like me, “Thank You” has been shortened to “Thanks.” “Yes” has become “Yeah” (which isn’t even a word more than it is just the sound of someone exhaling with a “Yuh” in front of it) and one of my favorites, “I don’t know” is dumbed down to “iouoh” (pronounced i-uh-oh, slurred together in one easy, single syllable, grunt-like noise).

What happened to us? Maybe it’s time to put more emphasis on great literates like Hemmingway, Conrad and (loud gulp), Shakespeare. Not that I think doing so will encourage anyone to speak in pros that hasn’t been used in 300 years, though it would be fun. “Yay, thou hast held the door open for me and surely for it, I offer my deepest gratitude.” Maybe just a full “Thank you” would be nice enough.

I’d like to think we’ve all had encounters with people that we almost immediately regret. I’m sure even Ned Flanders would grimace and mutter something a little less than flattering at the sight of a familiar face that he would really, really, really like to avoid.

Of course, we’re not talking just avoid. No, we’re talking about going out of the way to avoid.

I had one of those encounters at the grocery store earlier this week (and in hindsight, I suppose only one per week isn’t so bad). I wasn’t even given the chance to avoid it. I simply turned and, well, there was no “pretending” I didn’t see him, no ducking down behind bread shelves, no last-second turns down the feminine products aisle which involves other risks that I’m willing to take… My only option was to not move and just hope he didn’t see me, which of course, didn’t work the way I had hoped.

It’s not that this gentleman’s a bad guy. He’s not rude. He’s not threatening. He doesn’t complain, doesn’t cuss, smoke, yell or hassle me. On the contrary, he’s almost too pleasant – the rot-your-teeth-from-too-much-sweetness kind of pleasant. Really, I don’t mind his persona. My problem is his lack of regard for personal space – you know, the “personal bubble.” Everybody has one and it’s only big enough for themselves.

This guy definitely tries to fit too much of himself into the too little space available in my bubble. It’s a complaint straight from a Seinfeld episode; a great guy but stands waayyy too close – a literal toe to toe conversationalist. So close, I actually needed to push my elbow backwards to shake his hand. I take a step back and he inches his way closer while he talks to me. Another step back and he inches closer. Another step back and he inches closer… A few more steps I might actually make it to my car (assuming he doesn’t try to carry on the conversation as I’m rolling up the window and driving away).

And it’s an awkward situation. He’s an acquaintances I don’t see too often and it’s just not worth the risk of sounding like a jerk by asking him to back up a little. Truth be told, I don’t even remember the conversation. I just put it on autopilot – I smiled, nodded my head, watched his pupils dilate and stuck with it until he spotted someone else he knew.

Who wouldn’t want to relive that? I Can’t wait until I see him again.

Brian Golden

Ever have one of those weeks? Me? I’ve had two of them. What can I say? There’s nothing like getting a front tooth busted out via microphone to the face while in the midst of a musical performance, which is what happened to me last Friday. Who’s to blame, you ask? Well, let’s just say alcohol was involved and … no … I was not at fault. So to the gentleman who tumbled into my microphone stand … thank you. Thank you so very much.

Adding insult to injury, I (somehow) managed to burst a blood vessel in my left eye, resulting in my grotesque appearance for the past ten days or so. To put it simply, I look like patient zero in the Zombie Apocalypse right about now and, needless to say, I think I’ve heard the words, “Brian, you look like hell,” more than enough this week. Not that I’m in disagreement … I do look like hell. Feeling that way, too.

With that said, I’m off to Syracuse for the weekend, first for a suit fitting (I’m the best man in my best friend’s wedding come June), then for rehearsal (on Saturday), all in preparation for the studio (on Sunday). A busy weekend, to say the least. And now that gas prices have hit the $4 mark, let’s just say I’m not all that excited to fill ‘er up, if you know what I mean. On a positive note, however, my good friend and fellow guitarist Mike Davis will be in town for the rehearsal/studio session, and I’m looking forward to seeing the man.

And now, without further ado, my Absolutely Ridiculous ‘30 Seconds’ quote of the day, brought to you by … Man from Sherburne.
“Who knew Cheney even had a heart?”

Granted, I’m not the world’s biggest Dick Cheney fan, but this is taking it a little too far. I dislike this type of comment the same way I do those that are so disparaging of our current president. Whether you agree with an individual’s politics or not, there’s no reason to wish them harm and/or ill will.

And with that, I bid you farewell for the week. Until next time …

Jeff Genung

• This week has gotten away from me incredibly fast. Time flies when you’re having …

• Check out today’s Sports section for Pat Newell’s annual season-end review of the top Chenango high school basketball players – this week, it’s the girls’ turn. Can’t say I’ve ever been to a girls’ basketball game in my entire life, but hey, that’s what I pay Pat the big bucks for. All kidding aside, congratulations to this fine group of young female athletes.

• Speaking of young females … or old, for that matter … oh heck, just about everyone can get married these days, why be exclusive? Today’s the day we also roll out our 2012 Wedding Planner. It’s full of all the latest … who am I kidding? We bought the content, considering none of us on the ES staff are particularly knowledgeable in the art of matrimony … well, in planning a big expansive wedding in 2012, anyway. Both Melissa and Shawn are happily married (not to each other), so I’m sure they must be experts at some aspect of it by now.

• Spent a good portion of my night Wednesday sitting through Norwich High School’s dress rehearsal for this weekend’s production of “Aida.” I’ve got both a story interviewing the cast and a review of the show in Friday’s edition. Without giving too much away, I will say that I quoted senior Mallory Norton as saying that this show “will give Phantom a run for its money” – and she’s right.