“Comfortable hole, Bye”

Kevin Doonan

Cleaning out my desk has turned out to be a lot easier than I thought it would be. Moving on can be tough but everything comes to an end, every end is a new beginning, yadda yadda yadda. 
Working at The Evening Sun has been pretty awesome and I will miss it. Unfortunately gum can only be chewed so many times before it loses its flavor. 
As this is my last contribution to the paper I feel there are a few things I should clear the air about. I think guns are cool and like having them, but do not believe there is any logical explanation for every whacko to in turn have one and therefore question my own right to possess lethal weapons without 1) being a member of the mafia, 2) being a hunter 3) being an avid shooting competitor. “But I need it for protection…” lock your door, get a Taser, learn how to defend yourself. If you need a gun to defend yourself it may be because you’re overzealous or easily provoked. I would like to think we have come a long way since the O.K. Corral, but if the aggressor is packing heat then well yeah a shotgun probably would come in handy.   
Also I think people make law enforcement a necessity. Whatever slight anyone may feel about the existence of police is a fair tradeoff for the countless sex offenders and violent criminals who are to a degree kept at bay by law enforcement. I love people, I think we are all fascinating, interesting, beautiful creatures. However, I wouldn’t trust my neighbor nor the mother who bore him not to sell my kids a pound of heroin should they come on hard enough times. Within us all moors the ships of good and evil. Without the checks and balances of an organized society who’s to tell which ship will cast off. To the utopian anarchists who think otherwise, take a vacation in Columbia, maybe you’ll get lucky and someone will mention you on the radio afterwards.    
On another side note sometimes – and this is just a thought which has occurred to me – arguing about the specifics of high-volume hydraulic fracturing is a little like arguing about whether or not Santa Claus is trespassing.
Digressions aside, I love Chenango County. As a 24 year old single guy though, I find it might not quite be my speed. At least for now. I do have every intention of one day settling down and growing roots – as well as children, which also require a copious amount watering – in the area. The truth is I have neither the inkling to berth in port nor the consort to do so. So for now it’s time to go out into the world and see what there is to see. 
You haven’t heard the last of me though for I will be contributing frequently to 30 Seconds. “What the heck was that liberal garbage in today’s paper! I am canceling my subscription because I have been offended by a tittle to an article I haven’t read! Rabble rabble rabble.”
To the individuals I have worked with it, it has been great. I’ve loved everyone of you and I wish you all the best of luck.
P.S. in case anyone read my “thumb” today and did not get that I was joking, I was. I think the paper will not even notice my departure.