Please send money

Shawn Magrath

So I opened an email yesterday, enticed to do so because for first off, it’s part of the job. And second, the title read “HORRIBLE TRIP TO LONDON. PLEASE HELP.” You can’t not read something like that.

Sure. I’ll read it. I apparently have nothing better to do with my time than read a blatant scheme for easy money.

Here’s the first few sentences of the email, copied and pasted as per your enjoyment:

“I am sorry for reaching you rather too late due to the situation of things right now. My family and I had a trip visiting London (England), everything was going on fine until last night when we got attacked by some unknown gunmen. All our money, phones and credit cards was stolen away including some valuable items, It was a terrible experience but the good thing is they didn’t hurt anyone or made away with our passports.”

The letter went on asking if I could send along $1,550 (or whatever I could give) so these distraught travelers can catch their flight home. My money would be reimbursed when they returned, of course.

Overall, a good effort but not the most creative scheme I’ve ever heard. I’m a fan of the more imaginative ones: “Your internet license has expired. Your annual renewal payment of $100 is due to the FCC by tomorrow.” Sorry, my internet license? One of my favorites is “You’ve won the grand prize raffle but need to submit a $500 down payment now to redeem your $1 million prize.” I won a raffle I didn’t enter… must be luck.

To make an already poorly thought out scheme even worse, I got practically the same email last month. The difference? The traveler (of the same name and same email address, mind you) was “attacked” at a resort in the Cayman Islands. Either this is a hoax, or God clearly doesn’t want this person to vacation.

On a different note, the reporting crew is well into Progress Chenango, the annual undertaking of The Evening Sun that’s traditionally known to suck life and spirit from reporters. Personally, I haven’t thought Progress was that bad in the two years I’ve done it. I’m still learning a lot about Chenango County’s leading industries and non-profit organizations, even the ones I seem to write about on a regular basis. Not to mention, a slowly improving economy is making for much more positive stories for this year’s edition. Who says money can’t provide happiness?