Thank you, it’s exactly what I never wanted

Shawn Magrath

‘Tis the season for this usually procrastinating reporter to consider Christmas shopping – something I rarely look forward to. Every year, I fear the traditional gift exchange for two reasons: 1) I never have the “perfect” gift in mind for anyone, friend or family (or spouse, for that matter) and 2) I’m afraid of what I’m going to get. There’s never much – if anything – on my wish list, so when someone asks me what I want for Christmas, the response is always the same: nothing. Unfortunately, at least with my family, “nothing” actually means “something, but I’m going to let you surprise me.” Don’t get me wrong, I really, really appreciate the thought behind each and every gift. But even the most humble gift recipient occasionally thinks “What am I going to do with this?”

Be it the ugly holiday sweater, senseless knickknack, book that you aren’t going to read, or all around pointless thingamajig, I think most people are familiar with the concept of getting an unwanted Christmas gift. I’m no stranger to it either. Again, it’s not that I don’t appreciate the thought behind that eight inch ceramic figurine of a clown going fishing, or that book, How to Avoid Huge Ships (the 2nd edition), or even the concern for the safety of my lunch with “banana guard,” the plastic case that ensures my individual banana won’t get squished or squashed by the time I get to work. I love the thought behind any gift… but “banana guard”? Bananas already come in their own natural case, right?

The worst part is, no one can just get rid of these gifts. At least, no one with a heart. So this… stuff… sits on the coffee table, or the bookshelf, or in the kitchen drawer, or on top of the mantle for all to enjoy (maybe that fishing clown is exactly what’s needed to bring a little more life to the living room). There they stay, every day, taking up room and serving as a reminder that there’s another Christmas next year… and another round of gifts you’re grateful for, really, but would much rather do without.

On a cheerier note, the annual Evening Sun “Progress Chenango” edition is right around the corner, which means reporters will be in high gear for the next month or so. We’ll be scheduling interviews and writing a series of stories that highlight what the past year has brought to local businesses and non-profits, and the ambitions those organizations have for the coming year. Sure, it’s a heavier workload for the staff here but the end product is always something to be admired.