It’s in the bag

Kevin Doonan

Wednesday, two Binghamton residents were arrested in Pennsylvania for the possession of an estimated $125,000 worth of heroin hidden in the speaker box of their car. What I would like to know is where that number came from? How did the police quantify the dollar worth of the 4,963 bags of heroin they found? Did they measure it based on heroin’s exchange rate on the open market? I think not. What drug dealer was willing to go to the police and be like, “I want to be your drug dealer consultant, in case you just so happened to be wondering when I sell 4,963 bags of heroin, my net profit is an estimated $120,000.” Did the police ask themselves what would 4,963 be worth to me? And what kind of measurement is a “bag” anyway? Is it part of the Standard System of Metric System? Did every bag have the same amount of heroin in it? I mean that is the kind of information that the police no doubt would have to share with the drug dealer consultant in order to get an accurate estimate.

That raises yet another question. Does heroin go bad, will it spoil? After those 4,963 bags of heroin have been sitting in the evidence room for a couple of months, will they start to stink up the police station?

Either way a lot of heroin junkies are going to be left wanting. But maybe they will just use the $120,000 that’s burning a hole in their pockets and take a ride down to wherever in Pennsylvania people are bagging heroin.