The NFL, bacon and ’30 Seconds’


Brian Golden

I don’t know about you, but were there not some absolutely crazy headlines in the news today? As such, here’s a little taste of what’s going on around the world.

• First and foremost, without a doubt and with no hesitation, the NFL’s latest money hungry gaffe … the replacement referees. The proof? Monday Night Football’s unbelievable ending, which found the Seattle Seahawks getting the win thanks to an absolutely dismal call on the final play of the game. Whether you’re a football fan or not, you must admit that this entire situation is beyond ridiculous and entering the Realm of Ludicrous. As if the NFL – and its owners – don’t have enough money already. Greedy much?

• Alert! Alert! All hands on deck. That’s right, folks, now they’re talking about a bacon shortage. Personally, I can’t think of a worse scenario than life without bacon, which brings to mind a favorite conversation I had with buddies Vischi, Tozer and Chuck (during Tozer’s bachelor party weekend, no less).
“Hey Golden, did you bring enough bacon?”
“Uh, I think so, I brought five pounds.”
“Wrong answer, Golden, there can never be enough bacon.”

• And then there’s Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad addressing the U.N. Why anyone is listening to President Ahmadinejad in the first place is beyond me, particularly here in America (because I’m fairly certain I know how he feels about us), although I must admit it was interesting hearing what he had to say on Iran’s “global vision” and that Iran “welcomes any effort intended to provide and promote peace, stability and tranquility.”
Really? I’m not buying it.

Besides the news, of course, there’s (cue climactic orchestra music) Most Ridiculous ‘30 Seconds Post of the Day,’ brought to you by … Woman from North Norwich.
“November 6 2012 I am having a NO Bama Party. Who is gonna be here?????? RSVP ASAP…..”
Which should read (if one believes in punctation), “November 6, 2012, I am having a NO Bama Party. Who is going to be there? Please RSVP as soon as possible.”
Well, I’ll tell you what, Woman from North Norwich, I don’t want to go to your party, and I have no idea what your problem is with the great state of Alabama. Oh, wait, you were talking about our president? Well, I’m still not going to your party.