The news … and tribbles?


Brian Golden

There’s a lot going on out there in Newsland, both good and bad, if one’s been paying attention; from Mitt Romney’s clinching of the GOP nomination (not so good) to the Trumpster’s continued “birther” rant (ridiculous, at best); the Italian earthquake (definitely not good); baseball-sized hail pelting Oklahoma (also not so good) and … wait for it … the recent “zombie attack,” which appears on page two of today’s Evening Sun.

I’m not going to say, “I told you so,” but I did, didn’t I? And I’m telling you, this “zombie attack” story has cover-up written all over it. They’re out there … right now … among us, and it’s only a matter of time until we’re struggling for survival.

Oh, wait, with today’s economy (look at those gas prices!) we’re struggling already. Never mind. Regardless, that reminds me that my promised ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ column is soon to come (like the apocalypse itself, any believer will tell you). Maybe next week.

As for today’s column … well, I decided to go with a more positive theme, considering my two previous installments. Did it work? You be the judge.

And now, because I know it’s become everyone’s favorite portion of this, my Evening Sun blog, the Most Ridiculous ‘30 Seconds’ Post of the Day, submitted by none other than the mysterious Man from Norwich …
“IS THE EVENING SUN NOT WILLING TO PRINT THE TRUTH ABOUT ….”

Well, I’ll tell you what, Man from Norwich, Ed. – in all his wisdom – really doesn’t care for ‘30 Seconds’ posts typed in all caps, just so you know. As for myself, even after two-plus years of reporting for The Evening Sun, I have no idea – and I mean absolutely no idea – what “…” is or how I should go about printing the truth about “…”

Don’t like it? Write a letter to the editor, sign your name to it … and then we’ll talk. Honestly, one would think these ‘30 Seconds’ contributors would realize that most basic and fundamental of facts. We … do … not … take … you … seriously.

Uh-oh, there’s that damn “…” again. Maybe “…” is multiplying or something. Or maybe “…” is an alien species looking to invade the Earth and force us out simply because “…” can multiply so quickly. Is “…” code for Tribbles?

Now I’m scared.