Hate for my car and love for the weather

Shawn Magrath

Money’s going to be a little tight in the Magrath household this week. Time to choose between paying a bill a little late or just buying a few less groceries for the week. It’s a tough decision when it comes down to it. Do I want to open one of those scary yellow bills – you know, the one with a skull and crossbones watermark that’s underlying threats of smashing my knee caps with a baseball bat if I don’t pay, tied to a brick then thrown through the window (I didn’t even know the cable company had connections with the Italian Mafia). Or, should I eat just PB and J for a couple days (something I could easily do)? Suddenly, life throws me a curve ball; my car breaks and has to go to the car doctor… On the bright side, I no longer face the dilemma of choosing between bills and food. My car is going to suck me dry before I get a chance to pay either. Hurray for not having to make any tough decisions in life!

Anyone considering the purchase of a Pontiac in the near future, I wouldn’t recommend it. There is, after all, a reason the brand didn’t make the cut when GM was trimming some of its fat a few years back. Unfortunately, it’s too late for me – I accidentally bought one in 2009. Personally, I’m hoping it gets jacked. I’m leaving the key in the ignition, the door ajar just a little bit, I have a welcome mat laid down with candy lining the dashboard and a sign that says “don’t steal me” in the window… I just hope they leave the CD case in the driveway (that’s right, I still use the CD player).

I guess, like everyone else in the area, I never thought I would say to myself “I’m too hot” in the middle of March. Yeah, I could spend my time worrying about the most recent sign hinting to the unquestionable truth of global warming and that it’s a looming threat that’s going to melt us to the ground someday. But for now, it’s just easier to pull the fan out of the storage room at home. My apartments too uncomfortably warm to complain.

Now that spring is officially here, it’s difficult to complain about a passed winter for the record books. I can count on one hand the number of times I had to brush snow off my car and not once did I need to shovel the driveway (though there were a few when it wouldn’t have hurt). Of course, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the snow this year, even if only a little. Snow and I apparently have a very love/hate relationship; when it’s gone, I miss it and when it’s here, I want it to go away… I use to have co-workers like that.

I also want to point out that Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this year and his prediction called for six more weeks of winter… Liar. I knew he couldn’t be trusted.