No more reports until I’m fairly compensated

Shawn Magrath

It’s official. We’ve had the time to think it over and we have made our decision. Offers have been made; we’ve rejected them. Additional offers have been made and we rejected those. I, along with the rest of the Reporter’s Union, feel that we have been cheated out of money – nearly three billion over a ten year deal – and are therefore abandoning our rights to negotiate in order to sue the newspaper, even after they have offered numerous ultimatums. We have taken to Twitter to gain support for our cause and we’re paying for the best attorney possible because we think that in the long run, we can be fairly compensated and no more local news reports will be made until we are better paid. How are we to be happy when the average Chenango County reporter’s salary falls between a mere 3 and 5 million a year? Doesn’t a man have to eat?

No, I’m not really striking. That would be an awful idea because I know how it would turn out. Just the thought of it makes me think that I should box up my things and readjust my chair so it’s a more comfortable fit for my replacement.

So if it sounds ridiculous for me (or anyone else I know in almost any other profession) to refuse to work, why is the NBA getting so much coverage for their legal efforts? Don’t get me wrong; I know what’s happening between players and franchise owners is Capitalism at work but it’s so difficult for me and so many others to relate to the squandering of the league and the players when negotiations involve million dollar deals.

My opinion? Disband. Get rid of the players, abolish the union and start fresh. I’ll play for half the amount currently demanded. I can say it won’t look good and I can’t dunk but I can try really hard. And the NBA would save 50%. Win-win.

On a more interesting and completely unrelated note, I’m learning more about languages, dialect and the different aspects of various languages. Using Google Translate, I translated the second paragraph of this blog (No, I’m not really striking…) into Russian then again from Russian to English. This is what I came up with:

“No, I did not really catch the eye. That would be terrible idea, because I know how it will turn out. Just do not thinking about it makes me think that I should box your things and adjust my chair so that it is more comfortable fit for my replacement.”

So if you have an online Russian girlfriend, you may have to rectify a few things. Good luck.