Headlines you won’t see on April Fool’s Day


Patrick Newell

It’s April 1, known to all pranksters as April Fool’s Day. Without a clearcut idea to pull the wool over our reader’s eyes, I thought of some potential April Fool’s headlines you will not see in today’s paper:

* Norwich averts expected snowstorm, weatherman apologizes for mistake
* Everyone pleased with school budget cuts
* Area sports teams excited for season opener (we can probably run this the next few days until the season really does open)
* Yankees cut payroll
* NBA decides to shorten playoff season
* NFL players, owners agree to something…anything
* New York passes state budget on time (Wait, that actually happened!)

Perhaps you can think of some interesting headlines. Feel free to add to my list.