You gotta be kidding me


Brian Golden

Anyone who knows me is well aware of the fact that it takes an awful lot to make me truly angry. That’s not to say I’ve never gotten a little heated up from time to time, namely when a debate over politics, religion or the ignorance both topics tend to breed crops up. Last night, however, all it took was a single stupid and absolutely ridiculous comment from an obviously disturbed youth to push me over the edge.

Thursday night was an eventful one for me. Following my typical work day here at The Evening Sun I raced home, changed, gathered up my musical equipment and headed over to The Bohemian Moon for my monthly solo acoustic performance. It was an enjoyable evening, with a great crowd that was attentive and quick to applaud a favorite or familiar song. Once I’d concluded my two-hour musical display I quickly packed up my gear and returned home. In hindsight I wish I’d stayed there.

Unfortunately, my miniature refrigerator was barren of anything resembling a proper meal, so I proceeded to unload the car before hiking over to our downtown grocery for a bite to eat. After I’d made my meager purchase (Hot Pockets once again) I readied myself for the return trip home. And that’s when it happened.

Mathematically speaking, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. With this in mind, I usually cross through the Fire Department’s rear parking lot on my way to and from the store. It’s simply quicker that way. While I was crossing said parking lot, I noticed from under my hood, which I had drawn up against the cold, a young couple. Paying them no mind I proceeded on my way, only to be stopped up short as the young man asked me in his best tough-guy voice, “You staring me down, bro?”

Needless to say I was speechless – and angry. I didn’t know this punk (I refuse to refer to him as a young man after his tasteless question) and I was offended by his gang mentality and pathetic posturing. I’d barely glanced at either one of them after all. Instead, I simply said, “Excuse me?”

To make a long story short, I eventually (after a little discussion in which I utilized my not-inconsiderable repertoire of more colorful language) went on my way. I’m not into the whole put-up-your-dukes nonsense and I wasn’t about to get into a physical altercation with an obvious idiot. It’s just not worth it in the long run. I did, however, vent to myself the rest of the way home how much I would have liked to.

Regardless, I’m tired of these punks and wannabe gangsters staring at me like I’ve offended them somehow by my very presence. It’s beyond rude and I wish they would all grow up. They’re nothing but obnoxious, foul-mouthed, ill-mannered, uneducated fools.

In the long run, the joke’s on them.