And the Oscar goes to…

Melissa Stagnaro

Last night, millions of Americans tuned in to ABC to see the Academy awards, arguably the movie industry’s most glamorous and star-studded event of the year.

From the red carpet arrival of Hollywood A-listers to the eager faces of nominees willing their name to be read once the envelope is opened, no award show can hold a candle to the Oscars.

Between the drama and the haute couture, you’d think I’d be all over it. But I wasn’t one of the masses glued to the TV last night. Partially because I’d only seen three of the movies nominated – those being Inglourious Basterds, Fantastic Mr. Fox and Julie & Julia. But mostly because I just can’t be bothered with all the awards show hoopla.

It’s just such a production, dragging on for hours and hours. And far too much of it is painful to watch. I mean, it’s agonizing to see one fashion faux pas after another pass by on the red carpet. Ditto when the usually-funny host tells yet another joke that falls flat. And doesn’t it just break your heart to see the tortured expression on a nominee’s face as they attempt to swallow their own disappointment while pretending to be oh-so happy for whoever beat them out for that coveted statuette?

There’s the boredom, too, as you have to endure the stultifying list of award winners in categories you’ve never heard of and could care less about. Which, lets face it, is basically everything other than the Big Six as I call them: Best Picture, Best Actor/Actress, Best Supporting Actor/Actress and Best Director.

I know that sounds harsh, but honestly, do you care who got technical achievement awards? If you didn’t get one, or give birth to someone who did, the answer is probably a resounding “no.”

And I’m not even going to talk about the acceptance speeches. I understand the need to thank everyone you’ve ever met, I really do. I just don’t particularly care.

But don’t be fooled by my bitter little diatribe. While I don’t watch the whole extravagant ceremony, I wouldn’t say I was entirely disinterested in the whole affair. I did, after all, spend a fair part of my day reading recaps of the event and comparing the plethora of best and worst dressed lists circulating on the web.

I didn’t find anything incredibly exciting on the list of award winners. The fashion, on the other hand, was much more entertaining. I honestly didn’t recognize half the beautiful young starlets strutting their stuff on the crimson carpet, but the dresses were to die for. And did you see Demi Moore’s shoes? They were nothing short of divine.

Not everyone was looking their best however, and I have a feeling a few stylists will probably get kicked to the curb in the wake of the event. Like whoever dressed Charlize Theron. I found the South African actress’ gown a bit disturbing. Was it just me, or did it look like it was copping a feel?