Cut and paste the following

Melissa Stagnaro

We’ve all gotten these forwards from a friend or acquaintance, asking you to fill out a list of random questions covering topics like your favorite color and whether you prefer pizza over burgers or some such nonsense.

Change the answers so they apply to you, it says. Then send it to everyone in your address book, regardless of your relationship to that person. (Not forgetting, of course, to include the wonderful person who sent you the original email in the first place.

There is always that standard admonishment to be truthful and not to “spoil the fun” by failing to comply. Bollucks to that.

Since the advent of Facebook – where people post them as “notes” – I’ve noticed significantly fewer of these emails circulating. So I was almost surprised to receive one from a friend the other day. (But then I remember she was new to Facebook, and was still used to doing things the old fashioned way.)

I’m not going to lie. For all my complaining, I get a secret thrill out of filling these things out. Not that I harbor any misguided notions that anyone actually cares what socks I’m currently wearing or what my favorite ice cream flavor. No, I just like talking about myself. Everyone does. That’s why these little quizzes make the rounds so much. (And why this will be my 112th blog. Once you start talking about yourself, it’s hard to stop. Especially if you are required to do it as per the terms of your employment contract.)

I try to be as witty as possible, without providing any actual information about myself. Because I can’t bear the thought that, with enough of these circulating, there may actually be a day when we know everything there is to know about one another. Perish the thought.

Since this particular quiz arrived in my in-box, I’ve been itching to fill it out, but alas, my schedule this past couple of weeks has been too crazy. I’ve also been a bit negligent in my blogging, so here I am killing two birds with one stone.

1. What is your occupation right now? Slave. (a.k.a. staff writer for The Evening Sun, Chenango County’s hometown daily newspaper)

2. What color are your socks right now? I’m so not encouraging anyone’s strange fetish. All that really matters is that they match (each other) and that they’re clean.

3. What are you listening to right now? The clacking of computer keys in our newsroom, with a side of scanner.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Does having a pot of coffee count as eating?

5. Can you drive a stick shift? In a pinch. But it would probably be an uncomfortable ride for any and all involved.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? I didn’t catch the name. Someone calling to see if I could “send a photographer” to a check presentation happening in less than 15 minutes. When we’re on deadline. Nothing like advance notice, right?

7. Who sent this silly quiz to you? Vickie, one of my oldest and dearest friends. Or at least she was until she sent me this crap.

8. How old are you today? I have a strict don’t ask, don’t tell policy similar to that of the US Military. I don’t want you to ask, and I’m not going to tell.

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? None. I only watch movies and re-runs of NCIS.

10. What is your favorite drink? Drinks that begin with the letter “T.” Tea, Tang, Tangueray and Tonic…

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Well, there was that one unfortunate purple incident when I was a freshman in high school…

12. Favorite food? Chicken Tikka Masala, with plain naan on the side.

13. What is the last movie you watched? Boy’s Night Out, a 1962 comedy starring Kim Novak, James Garner and Tony Randall.

14. Favorite day of the year? The day when the clocks go back and I get to sleep in an extra hour. It’s better than Christmas, Thanksgiving and Halloween combined. And it’s this Sunday! Hooray.

15. How do you vent anger? Violence. Just kidding!

16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Books. Shocking, right?

17. What is your favorite season? I love every season. I just wish they were more evenly distributed here in upstate New York.

18. Cherries or Blueberries? Completely depends on when I saw Witches of Eastwick last.

19. Who was the last person you spoke to? My editor, Jeff. The conversation went something like this: “So, Stagnaro, are you planning on blogging at all this week?)

20. Favorite saying? These pretzels are making me thirsty.

21. What is your claim to fame? I’m currently the Evening Sun’s only award-winning reporter. (Thank you, Chenango County Farm Bureau.)

22. What is your living situation? I’m situated, don’t you worry.

23. When was the last time you cried? The odds are good that, on any given day, I’ve shed tears at least once in the last 24 hours.

24. What is on the floor of your closet? A reloader for shotgun shells. Perhaps it’s best not to ask.

25. Who is the friend you have had the longest (that I would be sending this to, if I were actually sending it)? Melissa, whom I met in the restroom of the Colonia Theatre after seeing Annie. I think we were around 5.

26. What did you do last night? Went to a board of education meeting, of course.

27. What are you most afraid of? My shadow.

28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Well done with American Cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles and just a hint of mayo. Can I get that with a side of fries please?

29. Favorite dog breed? Cat.

30. Favorite day of the week? Any day I can sleep in.

31. How many states have you lived in? 4.5, if you count the months I spent consulting in New Jersey. Which I’d rather not.

32. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds, baby, are a girl’s best friend. But then, so are any other precious gemstone in my opinion. I have a strict nondiscrimination policy when it comes to such matters.

33. What is your favorite flower(s)? Again, I don’t really discriminate. Although in general, I prefer the ones which don’t make me sneeze. (This narrows the field considerably.)

34. What is your favorite color? Cerulean blue. But only because I like the name.

There. Now that I got that out of my system. I can go back to work.

Follow me on Twitter @evesunmelissa.