Any time you start a new job, there is a learning curve. Not only are you getting familiar with the ins and outs of your new organization and the nitty gritty of your new position, but in the course of settling in you also learn things about yourself. Sometimes those things aren’t flattering.
I’ve had to admit to myself that I’ve gotten soft. Freelance writing is like vacation compared to writing on deadline every day. Curling up in my pajamas with my laptop or waking up in the middle of the night to grab said laptop, never truly felt like work. It was just how I wrote. And I love to write.
Now it’s my alarm, not inspiration, waking me before 5 a.m. And it just isn’t the same.
I’m not sure I’ve ever been what you’d call a morning person. Not that I’m one of those people. You know, the ones that do little more than grunt before they’ve had the requisite 2.5 cups of coffee. I just like sleep. I haven’t consistently gotten up this early since I tried (twice) to row crew in college.
It’s not that I don’t like being awake in the morning. I actually do. Listening to birds chirping while watching the sun rise and the fog lift over acres of dew-kissed fields…What’s not to love? It’s the actual requirement of getting up, showering and driving 20 minutes to work before writing that is killing me.
I know I’ll get into the swing. I’ll get used to writing on deadline without having it feel like I’m pulling out my own teeth. I’ll stop feeling anxious about using a gleaming white Mac instead of my not-so-gleaming laptop with all of its familiar Windows-based applications.
Some day I’ll even be comfortable enough with it all to not feel the need to be in the office an hour before everyone else. Maybe then I can go back to sleeping in.