I don’t like Tom Petty (hope I don’t get fired)

Michael McGuire

“Tom Petty is the greatest singer, guitar player and song writer in the history of this Universe or any other, and he forever will be. Just listen to the delicate, yet complex integration of chord progressions and lyrical mastery in songs like ‘Don’t Come Around Here No More,’ ‘Into The Great Wide Open’ and ‘You Don’t Know How It Feels.’ It’s like seeing two people fall in love to the sounds of a symphony only they can hear.”

That’s what someone told me once when I said I didn’t like Tom Petty.

Okay, I lied. That’s not what they said.

But they did call me a jerk.

That’s not the only time, either. I’ve lost friends, nearly family, because I don’t like his music…his music.

I didn’t say I didn’t like him. He’s probably a great guy and fun to be around. I just think his songs are too simple for my taste and that a lot of them sound too much alike.

“Then you’re are an idiot!” – I can already hear you saying it.

It’s okay, let it out.

“You don’t know crap about music!” “You’re tone deaf!” “You’re ugly!”

Keep them coming. I know I’m evil. I change the station when I here “Free Fallin” or “You don’t have to live like a refugee” – how dare I! It’s okay. I’ve learned to accept who I am.

And if I’m in a situation where I’m unable to change the station or the stereo, I start singing (I can sound just like Tom Petty) really loud, only I change the words to make the song’s lyrics really awful.

For example: “Free Fallin” becomes “Free Ballin.” You can only imagine how it goes.

That one’s made people cry.

Now Tom Petty is the performer during half-time of Super Bowl XLII in Phoenix. Can’t say I’m as thrilled as everyone else.

I believe my direct quote was, “I’d rather watch Steven Tyler and Justin Timberlake sing ‘Walk this Way’ and toss microphones back and forth to each other in hell before I’ll watch this year’s half-time show.”

But it’s clear I’m alone on this one. In fact, I’m not going to say that everyone else in the world claims to be Tom Petty’s biggest fan, but I’m not going to say they don’t, either.

That said; if I’m the only jerk on the planet that won’t defend the greatness of “Last Dance with Mary Jane” to the death, than even I have to admit Tom Petty must be doing something right.