A rock and a hard place
I hate hearing people bash working mothers or stay at home mothers. It seems like no matter which way you choose to go, someone is going to have something negative to say about it.
There’s been a lot of discussion on the forum lately about what mothers “should” do, and I just couldn’t let this one go without throwing in my two cents.
As the mother of a one year old child, I know all about the anxiety and guilt that goes along with choosing to work or choosing to stay home. There’s no question that your child is the most important thing, but it’s hard to know if it would benefit them more for you to stay at home nurturing them and caring for them, or if it would be better to get out of the house, communicate with other adults so you’re not so crazy, and find a way to help pay for the numerous costs that go along with raising a child.
Spending time with your child is a blessing. I know I enjoy every moment I spend with mine, even when he’s pulling the freshly folded clothes back out of the laundry basket and stomping on them, but I chose to go to work. On the days I’m feeling the most guilty, I wonder if I made the right decision.
But I know that if I had stayed home with my adorable baby boy I would feel the same guilt whenever I bought something nice for myself or when the bank account started slipping lower or especially every month when it was time to pay those student loans.
In developmental psych, they show you numerous studies and reports that show absolutely no benefit from either lifestyle. The real difference lies in how you spend the quality time that you have with your children. So instead of arguing about which is better, lets just leave it at that.
August 14th, 2007 at 11:17 am
Let’s face facts. Kids need certain things that cost money. If you can’t pay your bills, put food on the table, or buy clothing for your child, all the staying at home with your child will do nothing but put you in the poor house. Who, in their right mind, wants their child to grow up in poverty? If you can afford to live on one income, that’s good. For the majority of us, it’s not always possible. Times have changed since the 1950’s. We certainly don’t need people trying to make us feel guilty because we’re working.
August 16th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
I agree wholeheartedly. It is so hard to do anything as a mother these days without someone criticizing the choices that you make. I’m happy to see you sharing your thoughts and more so that you understand that all mothers should support one another. I love my summers when I can stay home with my son, and miss him dearly when I have to leave in the fall to go back to work. But I also feel that it is important for him to learn what he can learn from other children. I’m a better mother for doing a job that means a lot to me and making me feel like I contribute to the greater good. If I’m a more positive person for choosing to work I’m a better mother. Kudos to you for saying what needs to be said more often!