Real people love “Single-Wide”

Michael McGuire

There are a lot of great local festivals these days. It seems like there’s one every weekend.

Although, I don’t think there’s anything going on this Friday and Saturday.

That got me thinking; if I had to keep the streak alive, what kind of event would I bring to Norwich?

So I’ve come up with a festival idea for the future. It’ll probably never get off the ground, but it’s fun anyway…

“Chenango Single-Wide Showdown 2008: The biggest, nastiest trailer rally this side of Hot Springs, Ark. Folks who like the calm and quiet of their Trailer Park need not apply!”

Trailers of all kinds – from rotten bottoms to high tankers – would be towed in from far and wide. With the promise of music, food and no cops, Norwich would be smothered with propane-toting Landmarines.

Here’s some possible testimonials from satisfied attendees:

“I was at the Rolling Septic Review last year in Tulsa, and I’ve got to say, the Chenango Single-Wide is the rowdiest, most care-free weekend I’ve spent since getting paroled. The “trailer Jenga” was worth the price of admission alone. Those people know how to run a rally.” – Cherry Stem, Hobbs, New Mexico.

“I’ve never seen so many crab-grass patches get laid down in my life, and I’ve been at this a longtime.” – Sally “Brown” McStain, Montpelier, Vermont.

“We got married, had our reception and went on our Honeymoon in a trailer at Single-Wide. That was awesome. What was really awesome is that we got to move into it afterward. The Single-Wide staff said they didn’t want it back. Also,according to Guinness’ records, all that – marriage, reception, honeymoon, life – has never happened before all in the same place. That’s pretty neat.” – Eric “Cool FeBreze” Rogers, Hornell, NY.

Here would be the tag line “Blues people like the Blues festival, art people love Colorscape and athletic people like Gus Macker… Real people love Single-Wide.”