Glory to the King
Before you peasants pick through my blog, note your inequities as you read the work of royalty.
Well, not official royalty. Not yet.
But unless your name happens to be Mike “The Main Squeeze” McGuire, all you really are is a sniveling subject in the world of high-stakes competitive goat milking – a.k.a my new kingdom.
Come witness my coronation as your ruler at 2 p.m. this Saturday at the Dairy Day Celebrity Goat Milking Contest. Be amazed as opponents run away in fear of my “utter” ability. Be dazzled as goats line-up to be gripped by my gentle, yet purposeful hands. Be astonished as I build a wooden Ark to save my people from drowning in the flood of un-pasteurized milk that will undoubtedly flow from the Fairgrounds’ Exhibition Hall. Come. And you will one day be able to tell your grandchildren that you witnessed my two-handed “Canasawacta Clutch” deliver us to freedom.
June 12th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Love live the king.
Mike how do you always manage to bring the funny?
June 12th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Mike’s been working on a personal version of the “Cansasawacta Clutch” since he was 12 and watching Baywatch.
June 12th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Mike- It’s on!
You better watch out, I’ve got an inside edge on goat milking (not that I know anything about goats). Don’t crown yourself yet!!!
June 13th, 2007 at 8:30 am
Mike , those does will take one look at the size of your hands and leave the fair grounds!!!
June 14th, 2007 at 7:52 am
Hi Mike;
Hmmmm, delusions of grandeur…. believing you have superhuman powers…. Did you take your medication today????
June 14th, 2007 at 9:23 am
No.
June 14th, 2007 at 11:59 am
Just remember that it’s bad form to beat the boss, Mike. If I’m going to place my hands on the nether regions of a goat, I’m going to win.
June 15th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Milk…..i mean Mike….I love your blogs…You keep me smiling!
Keep up the Good work ….
June 15th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
BOW DOWN BEFORE YOUR EXALTED RULER!!!!!!
June 18th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
So how did you do Mike????
June 24th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Mike You keep me laughing half way across the country, don’t ever change!