Carts of the world, unite!


Michael McGuire

Shopping cart abandonment in the City of Norwich is not a problem, officials from P&C headquarters say.

That’s like saying “my coffee breath pleases not only myself, but others as well.”

Instead, P&C says they’re being “good corporate citizens” by allowing their shopping carts to be taken from their place of origin, only to be displaced and abused. It seems to them, the theft of a cart isn’t equal to the theft of a candybar, or a loaf of bread, which would put you in local slam for a night.

It’s this unequal treatment that’s got me so confused, and upset.

Why would P&C, who prosecutes shop lifters, not care about $100 dollars of their property walking out (rolling out, in this case) of the store without being paid for?

I know.

It’s because they hate carts. Yes, they hate them, and they are glad to see them go.

But I say we put an end to “Acartheid” (the legalized separation of shopping carts from P&C, their native land).

I say we break down these barriers and force P&C to see carts as equals in the land of retail grocery.

I say we round up all our squeaky comrades and bring them from the far corners of exile and take them home.

Why do I care?

Fair question.

I want to take on this problem because; a. it annoys me; and b. I think it’s so unimportant that I’ll be able to fix it.

I want to be Moses, Nelson Mandella, or Snoop Dog (who piloted the “Soulplane”), and wheel my people back to the promised land – for good.

And with your help we can do it together.

Join CARTOON (Carts of Our Nation) today.

email me at mmcguire@evesun.com if you want to get involved.