Snow, snow go away


Jessica Lewis

Okay, no fair. So the snow is finally supposed to be coming, tonight of all nights. Happy The forecast is calling for a total of…well, it’s a whole lot of snow, and I am really not looking forward to it.

I’m not the type of person that shrinks away from physical tasks. In fact, a lot of times I enjoy them. After I’ve helped put up the fence around my yard or moved all the furniture in my house 18 times until it’s in just the right spot (only inches away from where it was in the first place) I feel a certain sense of accomplishment, even if I am covered in bruises from tripping over various objects and falling down non-stop. Remember, I’m graceful.

The problem is, I don’t do very well in the cold. If you ask anyone in the office, they’ll tell you it’s true. As soon as the thermostat hits 68.9, I’m shivering and my teeth are chattering. The general opinion in the office is that if I ate a “freaking hamburger” I wouldn’t be so cold, however, I’ve found no scientific data to back this up, so I’m going to continue my non-meat eating practices. It’s also been stated that eating a hamburger would minimize the effect that alcohol has on me, make me less likely to bruise so easily and perhaps make me fly. I can’t quite remember if that was said out loud or not, but I’m sure if I ate a hamburger my memory would be better too.

Anyway, back to the point at hand. I’m dreading the insane amount of snow we’re said to be receiving tonight, because I have no idea how long it will take to shovel out of the mess, but I’m sure it will take an amount of time significant enough to make me freeze my buns off. I’m equally sure that tomorrow morning, I will be waking up much earlier than usual to make sure the shoveling is done before I leave for work. The real problem is with the high probability of ice and the even higher probability that it will cause me to fall and possibly decapitate myself with the shovel. Nothing says Happy Valentine’s Day like that.